Fuck it

  
Cuz the rain doesn’t seem to want to let up so grab some music and stomp around 

Those Little Things

So recently I had one of those days. You know, not bad, not awful, but being told you need your endometrial lining biopsied-and no-they don’t put you under for that. This day is level: FuckedUp
But I made it through
[Big shout out to Klonopin & Wellbutrin] but possibly more important to this little Shiracle* that occurred first thing in the morning.

I had come across a full tube of Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer that I must have completely forgot I’d bought. This had to have been in the midst of some medical emergency or whatnot ::sighs:: Anyway, I find this fabulous treasure only to open it up and find that it’s turned. I’m mentally kicking myself for nor opening it right away, I can’t find a receipt anywhere, and thanks to chemo brain I can’t recall this purchase at all. Of course I’m currently not employed so this is just a big juicy tragedy.

But in desperation I’m thinking, maybe I can replace it? Sephora has the best customer service and are super accommodating. I make it a habit of not returning things without a receipt or using half a product and then bringing it back (there’s a limit to what you should take advantage of, people!) but I decide this is extenuating circumstances and am willing to give it a shot.

Because they are the best ever they immediately and happily issue me store credit and I was able to add just a few more dollars and get the Urban Decay x Gwen Stefani palette which I had already come to terms with never having because it’s limited edition and my finances are not what they used to be. And this was just going to be a missing piece of my soul ::super sad face::
Because I wanted this soooo bad and I wasn’t expecting it was a total Shiracle that reminded me of how blessed I really am. Divinely favored! And that was definitely the mind frame I needed to be in for the rest of that day…
Sometimes it really is the seemingly little things that have the biggest impact on us.

*shir•a•cle
/ˈshirək(ə)l/
noun
A surprising and welcome event, inexplicable by natural or scientific laws and therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency specifically created for Shira
Synonyms: wonder, marvel, blessing, mystery, phenomenon

*whispers* The Fat Man Walks Alone…

This ones for you, Buttercup. Empire Records is on. Can you have a spirit movie?! Rex Manning Day is right around the corner so what could be more appropriate than watching it on VH1 as I wait for my freshly spray painted silver mason jars to dry. I don’t feel I have to explain my art to you (AJ😍)…lol, jk, I’m making some kick ass party favors for my nieces birthday party next week. 

…God I miss being 16…  No matter how many years pass or how many miles separate us you could say this movie is the glue that holds the world together. Forever relevant to us. Superb. Say it again. SUPERB. We will always Damn The Man. Rave On. Rave On. 

Russian Red

  I’m spending the weekend with my big huge extended family. (Have you ever seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding? This is the Russian version!) So much fun! But I always feel like I need to pull out all the stops when I go. They all know me as this fabulous sparkly fancy artistic and dramatic Auntie and I just can’t disappoint. Despite barely having my life together, I have to appear to be flourishing (fake it till u make it, right?) This outfit is just the right amount of different, edgy, and unexpected to knock their socks off (my 7 year old niece’s latest phrase). Of course looking good will inevitably bring up the subject of why I’m not married ::rolls eyes:: but that just means I nailed it 😉 

MOi?! A MUA?! Your so sweet, MWA!

PhotoShoot with my beautiful and talented friend who so graciously lent me  her face in makeup for the occasion. This was one of the most fun nights ever!  We had the music loud and got really caught up in this. My career as a makeup arteest begins!! You can find me on Instagram with the hashtag #MoiMuaMwa 

xx,

Shi

  
 

Getting my sparkl* back (on time!)

Tuesday Outfit Inspo

Mission For Nipples: Day 1

Inspired [pressured?] by my own public declaration to make these nipples happen for myself I spent the day doing some in person research for the right artist. I met some really cool people and got to talk to several of the artists that are affiliated with P.ink, an organization that helps connect breast cancer survivors with artists for post mastectomy tattoos. So I met a few of the artists and there are a few more that I still want to meet before making my decision. The one thing that’s bothering me is the lack of pictures. It’s hard to choose an artist without seeing their work. The variables: color, scarring, with a nipple, without a nipple. So I am still confused but I feel better that I bit the bullet and got out there and started the process.

I wear my heart on my breast

Valentine’s Day is coming up and this February the heart has a special significance for me. I’ve been pushing this off for a long time but I think I’m ready for that next step in my journey. And that is nipples. When I first made the decision to have a double mastectomy with diep flap reconstruction I was certain that I would not have nipple reconstruction. I wanted some pretty little tattoos, not areola but maybe a little mandala or some stars roses perhaps. I knew I didn’t want a tattoo that covered the whole breast. I finally decided on hearts. I want them to be colored like a nipple but shaped like a heart.
Like everything else that didn’t turn out anything like I’d planned for…I did get nipples. And I’m so glad I did. My plastic surgeon told me “yes, I’m doing it, trust me” and I did. And when I woke up I was horrified. They weren’t exactly even, one of them kinda leaned toward one side, and there’s the obvious redness and swelling and the stitches that made me doubt that they’d ever look normal. But as they healed I was LOVING them. I’d had a lift and reduction during that same surgery so I often didn’t wear a bra. It was summer and I was brazenly showing them off, for the first time not trying to hide my hardened nipples.
But I still haven’t gotten around to the tattoos. There’s the financial aspect, I’m not working so I don’t have much money but mainly I’m scared. I don’t know who to go to, what if I don’t like it once it’s done, is it gonna hurt, who will I go with, ehhhhhhh I start thinking about it and just push it off. But I think it’s time. There was a sense of completion and wholeness that getting my nipples brought me, it wasn’t expected but it was wonderful. I’m fairly sure the tattoos will do the same. So I’m aiming for the 14th I think it would be super cute to get them on Valentine’s Day. Which means I should start looking for an artist?! If anyone has suggestions I would really really appreciate it!

DISCLAIMER:

I am cancer free. My chemo is complete, I had no radiation, my reconstruction is done. I’ve been declared medically fabulous 🙄

To me this is such an important distinction…cuz if your going though any of that now it’s 100% different.. Fuck me-I’m on the other side of it. Maybe I was just salty  but I think it’s different and thus, important to mention.

That being said…